It has been far too long since I’ve written a blog entry. And it is not for lack of ideas or thoughts to express and share. It’s all because of me. I have gotten in the way of myself…
I have fallen into the trap of over-thinking.
I am analyzing my ideas at every turn:
*Which topic should I focus on for my first re-entry into the Blogosphere?
* Which one will have the most impact? Sound the most eloquent? Be the most timely and pertinent?
Like, I, the Almighty Blog Writer knows what will affect the most people (positively, of course)?!?
All this introspection has served is to stall me out. To keep me from writing anything at all, for fear that it won’t be the right thing. The best thing.
As I started down this path again today, I finally heard the insistent, intuitive voice that has probably been speaking to me all along; I was just too self-absorbed to listen…
“Don’t think, just do,” these wise Yoda-esque words whispered in my ear.
And, this time, I paused and I listened. And I realized, that’s it. That’s all there is.
NONE of us are supposed to be the perfect writer, painter, teacher, student, accountant, sales person, sculptor, dancer, nurse, counselor… even parent.
We are never going to be 100% successful.
And, when you think about it, that is a huge relief. Once we stop trying to be perfect, we free ourselves up to just be… who we are, where we are.
Each of my blog entries can deeply touch one person and completely turn off another. At the same time. And that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be.
We will all have moments of spontaneous brilliance and also times where we completely fall flat and have to call a “do-over.” That’s life.
Yet we so often get bogged down with replaying all the areas or circumstances in our lives we feel we should excel at, that we completely miss the mark because we’ve forgotten all the times we have succeeded.
We’ve forgotten that just by the pure act of doing, we’ve already succeeded!
Life is forgiving. We just need to be more forgiving of ourselves.
Is this blog entry the “magnificent-all touching” entry I dreamed of creating? No. But I finally started writing again. And for now, just now, that is enough.
I feel full and purposeful. I finally got out of my own way and stopped trying to be the director, producer, and creative manager of the play called, “This Is My Fabulous Life!”
And once I took a back seat and let my higher power and the natural ebb and flow of the universe guide my hand, I started doing. It sure beats sitting on the couch “planning” what to write—deciding what next step I should take to reach my goals and dreams…
I just started walking. And as long as I am actively moving, I am moving forward.
I encourage you to take a step with me…
*In what areas of your life are you feeling stuck right now?
*Where are you idling in neutral, waiting for a sign, or the exact right moment, to push yourself into drive?
* Where can you start walking forward? Today. Right now. All it takes is one step.
* And where can you show yourself some compassion for stumbling and sputtering in a challenging aspect of your life? Perhaps it’s in your job where you want to be a shining star, the best employee ever? Or at home, where you may be struggling without always knowing the right solution or the best way to handle an on the spot situation (which can so often occur suddenly and unexpectedly when it comes to children)?
I guarantee, your children will remember that they had a parent who always tried and didn’t let fear keep them from facing the hard parts, rather than how you actually faltered (in your mind) in any given situation. One of the best lessons you can pass on is that we don’t always succeed the first time around; that we don’t have all the answers but we know how to listen and then try to investigate a solution together; and that when we make a mistake, we can acknowledge our part and ask for a “do-over.”
The same goes for your job. As a past supervisor, I remember the teachers who took a risk and tried regardless of any “guaranteed success;” who knew how to ask for help and work as a team; who bravely suggested innovative ideas even if they didn’t work out. I do not remember their slips and stumbles. I do remember their guts and faith.
And, on a personal level, I am already feeling successful. The critic in me wants to go back and refine and rewrite this entry until it’s perfect. But, then I remember that the definition of perfect is “being entirely without fault or defect” (Merriam-Webster). That perfect is boring, always the same, never varying. And that certainly does not describe me nor my life. And I’m just fine with being “imperfectly perfect!”
I’ll leave you with a parable:
“Three frogs were sitting on a log one day and two of them decided to jump off. How many frogs were left on the log? The answer is three. Because there is a difference between deciding and doing.”*
I don’t want to end my life thinking, “Well, I was full of great ideas.”
I want to think, “I did.”
(*pearls of wisdom from long ago read Reader’s Digest)