Help me spread your light wherever I go.
Flood my soul with your spirit and life.
Penetrate and possess my whole being so that
my life may only be a radiance of yours.
Shine through me and be so in me so that every soul
I know will feel your presence in my soul
The other night a friend called me in deep despair. She was coming undone and I felt useless as to a means in which to help her. I listened to her. I made gentle suggestions. I validated her feelings. Nothing seemed to help.
She hung up suddenly. “Oh, I’ve got to go.” Click. And silence. I sat stunned to my spot, receiver still dangling from my hand. Did I say enough? Could I have done more? Is she okay? I was filled with doubt and worry. My husband came in at this moment and upon inquiry I shared my concerns with him. He reassured me that I did the best I could. That unfortunately no one can take away another’s pain. That growth comes at the edge of despair, change at the end of our comfort zone.
I knew all this. And yet … wasn’t there something else I could do?
I sat there feeling utterly helpless, when the answer tickled my mind… “pray for her,” this thought whispered. It was the simplest of solutions, yet the one so often easily dismissed; an abstract, intuitive way instead of an “I’m going to grab a hammer and nail your heart back together” way!
So here I sat, feeling completely powerless, when I realized I did have control over something. I couldn’t reach across the phone lines and “fix” her side, but I could take immediate action on mine.
I knew that the best gift I could give her in that moment was to just hold the space with her. To let her know she was not alone. I did not even know the details of what had triggered this onslaught of emotions, but I could understand the feelings that had gushed forth. I could create a space where she didn’t have to stem the flow of this tsunami alone.
What happened next still gives me chills…
I quieted my mind and centered my heart and spirit. I set my intention and asked the Universe for help. I pictured my friend, curled up in a tight ball, waves of anxiety, fear and loneliness radiating from her. I focused on this auric ball of clashing colors and slowly transformed them into a harmonic circle of light and love, pulsating in soothing hues to the rhythm of her slowing heartbeat. I pictured her blanketed in a quilt of comfort, woven from all the love of the Universe, God, Goddess, her spirit guides, angels, friends and family. I poured forth deep healing energies from my core; picturing my own Soul Beacon enlightening hers; highlighting the path back to her own center.
Sometime during this meditation, I became so deeply relaxed that I actually fell asleep. My dream was filled with warmth and swirling threads of gossamer light circling around me. When I awoke, I felt as if my friend and I had rocked each other to sleep. I felt her strength grow. I pictured her feeling grounded and cared for. I breathed my wish of peace for her into Goddesses’ ears and I closed my prayer.
The rest was now truly out of my hands. But I now had faith, knowing that I had done my part. She would be carried through whatever trials were in her way.
It wasn’t until 3 days later that she shared her experience of that night with me …
I had texted her a message similar to above about “holding the space for her,” but that was all. She told me she had received this much later that night, but upon checking the time stamp, was stunned to learn the synchronicity in timing of my prayer, coinciding with her miracle; one that occurred in the midst of her anguish:
After she hung up the phone with me, she laid her head on her window sill and sobbed. She felt desperate. She felt ill-equipped to care for herself in that moment, let alone for her two young children that were in the house with her. All she craved was for someone to take care of her for once.
Her wish must have been carried on the winds, for her prayer was answered.
A short time later, she was sitting in her chair, despondent. She heard someone come into her room and assumed it was her youngest child. For she was the intuitive one, and would often respond to her mother’s needs and emotions, offering up comfort and cuddles.
But as she looked up, she discovered it was her older daughter; a child with sensitive needs who would most often pull the emotional tide in her own direction. But, not this time.
This time, she came to comfort her mom. She told her she loved her. She offered her a hug.
They wound up snuggling on the bed together, honestly expressing their feelings, building a new layer of trust between them. And they both fell asleep.
My friend awoke off and on and in the end found a book to read while she stayed wrapped up in the warmth of her daughter. When her child awoke, she looked up, and lovingly smiled. That’s all it took.
My friend told me that this was a turning point for her. She felt like a miracle of insight had occurred. Over the next couple of days, she realized that she had been living in a frantic state, hovering on the chasm of chaos. Yet when she took a back seat and let God guide the way, she provided for her. And when she let go of the expectations of “how” she wanted her prayer to be answered, she became open to embracing the unexpected way in which God did heed her prayer… by providing the gift of compassion and love from a daughter to a mother.
Once she finished her tale, I shared with her my prayer experience. Our timelines were in perfect sync. All that could be said was silence. We sent up a small prayer of gratitude for this gift of cosmic connection.
So remember, when someone you love is suffering (physically, mentally, financially, etc.) and you feel like you can’t find any tools in which to help them, everything you need is already with you, at any time: The Power-tool of Prayer. Reach into your heart and mind and pull it out, dust it off and try it out for a change. You don’t even have to pray to a specific god. You just have to set your intention and ask for help, guidance and insight. Don’t imagine the outcome, only the processes of embracing whatever gifts or messages that will be presented to you.
All you have to do is help hold the space.